Avengers and Oliver and Co: Ragnarok Madness
by Eogrus
Summary: Black Widow is protecting the American Museum of Natural History, but Loki and Living Laser plan to kill her! It's up to Oliver and Dodger to save her!
1. Chapter 1

Everything was very peaceful in the wonderous and industrious city of New York. The Central Park was very pretty and clean with many animals of infamous animousity, the avenues were filled with happy civilians and cartel Thanksgivings of eternity annualness and the vehicles all moved nicely across the roads.

"My, what a mighty finy day!" said a random woman with much happiness and joy in her left vasicle.

"Indeed my champion felicity dame!" said a random old man selling chestnuts.

They made out with much ardour and beauty that made Natalia Romanova black darkness heart much warm in Kennaz apreciation glory. She was on a secret mission to safeguard the Museum of Natural History, the S.H.I.E.L.D. need it safe because it contains many precious fossils, especially Andrewsarchus mongoliensis skull. The evil devil immensely ugly god Loki was amassing an evil army somewhere, and he wanted that skull very bad in order to complete an unholy trinity perfecta with fossils he stole from Berlin, London, Sydney, Paris and Antananarivo. Black Widow must not fail, so she is dressed in most unconspicuous and subtle disguise while safeguarding the museum.

"Mommy, is is woman dressed in nothing but bikini top?" asked an ignoramus forever virginity little boy is is a homophobe so he deserves to die.

"Dear Cobramcjingleballs, that woman you see is a stripper, it is very important for american economy!" said his parent with much wisdom in her varicose vein tumourful breasts, whom he is attracted to because of several Oedipal gonorrhea.

And indeed it was. A massive crowd had gathered at the Museum, because Natalia Romanova is doing a strip teasing routine in the main entrance. A massive exceptionally phallic rubber pole covered with honey had replaced the the green statue, with a retractable, extendable metallic roof installed right above the entrance in order to provide shelter during thunderstorms or intense UV Sun radiation. All the money wasted on that paid off immensely, because now many horny and perv men were donating money to the Museum, providing the biggest revenue that it ever had since it acquired Quetxzalcoatlus fossils. Natalia Romanova was very smileful and happy, it was a very fine day to strip dance as all the verpaphilliac men were paying attention to her and all the women were very jealous and tearing off their hair in frustration. Her workmanship and sassiness were so felicity sexuality that even Sunna, the norse Sun goddess, was MAD with envy at her.

"You will pay for this, Black Widow!" said the unfelicity solar deity of cancerous gamma ray radiation earwax.

Romanova was so happy she just winked in pleasure, so Sunna fired a hyper laser beam at her to fry her into the oblivion. Instead, the metal roof just redirected the blast to Peter Parker, utterly burning and scorching his genitalia until only ash remained.

"Ew Peter, I hate what you did to your dick, I'm going to leave you now!" said Mary Jane with much reason in her nipples, "Thank you Black Widow for revealing my devil husband's folly!"

"You're welcome sweety!" moaned Natalia with much happiness in her ovaries, and everyone congratulationed her for being so clever and wonderous.

Everyone except Loki.

"GRRRR, you thinks yous so clever little geoluread quim, with your saggy tittes and your fleas in the clitoris! Well, I have an evil devil plan to ruin your little façade, and then everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. will throw you in the garbage can! HAW HAW HAW!"

"Well, not if you keep spouting shit like halicobacter lagomorph!" said…Living Laser!

"What the hell are you doing here you most enthropic retard!?"

"Andrewsarchus skull has ancient devil evil powers granted by celtic god Hemera! If I take hold of it I shall have unholy destruction LIGHT POWERS that will anihilate humanity with Wrath of God! If you aid me in my quest I shall grant you three kisses!"

"Sounds fair enough."

And so the dastardly evil villains made their hasty retreat to kill Black Window! But that devilry has been registered by most watchful vigilance eyes this side of Manhattan!

"Wiskity crickets, we have to call the Avengers!" said Oliver, spying with his binocles - he is very talented cat, he can hold binocles with paws - the devilry incident before his eyes.

"Why? Black Widow is super spy, nobody will fuck her red ass!" says Dodger, withrawing his massive dog dong from Oliver's dung tunnel.

"But is is two devil evil gods of Hell, even she cannot withstand Living Laser's madness hypnotic 450-495 radiance gyroscopic cock!"

"Holy shit, we must call the Avengers indeed!"

And so Oliver the deliciously hotness underage kitten cat and Dodger the pussy violator mutt run down the dark, dump aisles and alleys in search of superheroes of magnanimous powers of supernaturality. They run across most unsavoury characters, drug dealers, con artists, organ stealers, mass murderers, pedophiles, homophobic and racist hate groups and Channel Awesome fans, but their sheer love of erotic material is enough a shield to withstand the darkest edges of the great city of dreams and stars. But suddenly an evil shadowed figure appears in front of them!

"You will perish in DARKNESS you little animalistic skanks of epicurian carcinomas!" said an evil and fell voice….DAISY DUCK!

Yes, Daisy Duck has been driven to MADNESS after her boyfriend Donald left her for Janet van Dyne (after she offed Hank with batery acid bath to the balls, that is) after years and decades of domestic abuse and mistreatements, she has married Gladstone for a while but then his good luck led her to become infuriated at her loss of control and power, so she called in Doctor Doom to destroy his sorry feathery bum and even then he went to Heaven with a smile, so she has been alone and miserable because there is nobody under her sadistic grasp, nobody well enrolled in her filfthy, shit encrusted finger. So she is now a crazy cat duck lady that survives via scat prostitution, snuff filmography and by running New York's crime syndicate, right beneath Kingpin himself, ordering and bossing around all the villains including Doctor Octopus and Electro. And now she is mighty fine PISSED OFF at the cat and dog who entered in her territory…

"THIS IS MY TURF DO YOU NOT SEE MY BORDERS!?" said evilly the whore ugly Anseriformes, pointing at the wall of most intrepidly rhinocerous vulva stench shit blocking the alley.

"But madam we came from the other side we did not see your marvelous dung dam!" asked truthfully the honestly inoccence Oliver cat kitten, with much adoration and love that Dodger got an erection, he was mad in love with him.

"LIARS, YOU FILTHY BOREOTHERE LIARS OF EOCENE COMPULSIONS OF WOE! YOU WILL PAY GRAVELY FOR OFFENDING DAISY DUCK THE MAFIOSA!"

"Permit me to destroy them?" said Lizard, putting out his tongue like sensual elaphid snake or most inane drooling retard.

"Nonesense my slut, I will personally kill these intruders!" said Daisy Duck, frenching Lizard's Salmonella snout with much pleasure and octagonal diarrhea sentiments.

And then Daisy Duck took out her shotgun and began shooting everywhere, killing Black Cat, The Vulture and all the other prostitute villains that lived in her shanty town. Oliver and Dodger managed to doge every bullet thanks to their fast carnivoran eutherian reflexes, but they were running out of energy so they needed to act fast. Thankfully, Oliver had sex with Professor Xavier so he acquired telekinesis to mentally communicate with Dodger.

"Dodger my love, you must destruct Daisy!"

"Will do my boudacious carnificine beautiful kitten of love!"

Oliver blushed, just in time to reflect a bullet with his claws, and then Dodger dodged all the bullets and got behind Daisy and snapped her neck. Because her torso lost contact with the medula she got paraplegic, and so her bowels completly lost nervous control, unleashing gallons upon gallons of most vile guano and then her intestines. With the vile avialan villainess dead and being raped in hell, Oliver and Dodger shared a passionate kiss that melted the hearts of all the surviving villains, that patted their fuzziness heads and fingered their sordid butts. But they were still very worried about Black Widow!

"Someone seems very sadiful in this wonderful day" said a moaning whory and wise voice from a small hole in the wall.

"We need to warn The Avevngers that Loki and Living Laser are going to kill Black Widow!"

"Do not worry, we can take you there!"

And so the door opened, revealing an entire infrastructure created by mice! Amidst them were Bernard and Bianca, the pureness sweetness newly weds, dressing in a neat white tuxedo and a sensual dress made from human skin respectively, to show their purity of purpose and the grimness of reality.

"We have a friend that will get us to the Avengers headquarters real fast, come in!" said Bernard really worried, because if Loki wins he will steal his wife and crush her internal organs like marshallow, as retaliation for the "Sri Lanka incident".

And so they climbed the elevator. It was very tight and unconfortable because Oliver's and Dodger's sexual pheromonas made Bernard and Bianca very horny, and in turn their sensual attire made Dodger erection very much. Tensations and cheating arguments were about to erupt when suddenly the elevator stopped at the roof top. Before them the Albatross Airlines cabin, now strangely modified into looking like a gothic scottish chapel. It was open, so out heroes entered inside, finding lots of holy crosses and jesus imagery. Sitting on a chair was an albatross dressed like Fred Phelps.

"Good evening my clients, are you here to make an appointment for a journey? A SPIRITUAL journey, perhaps?"

"Who are you?" said Bernard distrusting.

"I am Milton Wright, father of Orville and Wilbur."

"Where are they?" asked Bianca frightfully.

"Well my ill dressed skank whore, my sons were very sinful in their aviatory ways of global expansionism, so I stripped them of their sins!" he said, taking out their dissecated heads from his pockets.

"How can you can you do that to your own sons you monster!?" said Oliver with much righteousness in his heart of colesterol.

"Well my little fag, if I were in your place I would not bite the hand that feeds you. You need me to get to the Avengers in time."

"How did you know?" asked Doger scaredely.

"Oh, I hath telekinesis too! Alas, although I would much rather skin you alive, I do have to agree to your goals. I cannot let evil pagan Loki ruin my plans of christian supremacy, so prepare yourselves and hop into my back!"

And so Milton the christian extremist most insipidly retard bird put the iconic sardine box seating device on his back, and our protagonists hopped in.

"Ah, I have one condition for this journey! No faggotry, so Bianca will have to seat between Oliver and Dodger. So, if any feels horniness, they will have to sex Bianca and end holiness matrimony of the rats! HAW HAW HAW!"

They all agreed to anyways, because Oliver and Dodger are much taller than the mice so they can french regardless. They all got very confortable in their miniscule metallic blanket, Oliver nuzzling against Dodger and Bianca and Bernard sharing a kiss in front of Oliver's crotch. The WBC bird then began taking off, running like a deranged kudzu chicken until it reached the ramp. It clasped it's wings instead of flapping them, only opening the wings at the last minute before hitting the ground, swiftly ascending right in the middle of the street, causing a massive traffic accident that caused millions of deaths. Oliver and company watched the gore with much ardour in their chests.

"Why you kill little children you monster!?" says Bianca with much righteousness in her breasts.

"I do not kill, I free people from consolations of godless existence and AIDS!" said Milton very angrily.

Just then a little girl's head feel on the albatross's and blocked his eye sight, making him fly turbulently all the way to the Stark Industries building. The Jarvis the robot is very much not pleased.

"Mister Stark devil diomedeidid bird of un-North Atlantic origins is striking, permission to terminate?"

"Oh, yes!" Starke moaned with much sexuality pleasure in his cock.

With that ordered, the Stark Industries building super laser canons were erected like dementia horse cocks of lackluster pleasantry, and began firing at our heroes!

"Darnmnits, Stark is madly mistaken in myopic misanthropy!" said Oliver, his left ear pulverised by the laser.

A laser beam hit Milton right in the face, destroying the ornithurine and little girl heads in ten thousand carnicery deliciously poultry amicability desires. To avoid crashing Doger and Oliver grabbed the bird wings and flapped them - something they thankfully did not need to do often, thanks to the albatross locking wing joints and expertise in gliding -, but they were losing lift quickly and the lasers were increasing.

"Quick, use those thermals!" said frightfully the Bianca with uterous virginity wiseness.

And in the nick of time they do, ascending until they reach the highest window. Oliver and Company can't believe it! Tony Stark is fucking Pepper's cancerous, maggot filled putrid flesh she calls vagina in the couch while the Hulk watches, inserting Steven Rogers' body in his prostate butt! With no more time to waste, our protagonists crash through the window, sending glass shards everywhere, especially to the Hulk dick and skull, hitting his left lobe so his anal muscles contracted and utterly smashed all the Steve Rogers bones and internal organs. Before Pepper and Iron Man could even register that the albatross landed violently on them!

The impact of the albatross, dog, cat and mice falling on the casanova rich man the Stark was enough to propell his thrust forward, making him orgasm with such power and strength that his cum shot was fired at the speed of a bullet and completly destroyed Pepper's internal organs and ripped her head off the body, sending it flying all the way to the bathroom toilet (which flushed itself). The impact also made Tony Stark empty his bowels, gallons upon galloons of rotten yellowish shit being sprayed into the air like a fountain of shameful pickadily alfaceous contraceptives. To make matters worse, he was rendered completly paraplegic down the neck, being unable to remove himself from Pepper's quickly decaying corpse, the maggots entering through his urethra and beginning to eat his penis!

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH YOU SHITTY ANIMALS YOU HAVE MADE ME PARALATIC AND KILLED MY WHORE SERVANT WOMAN HULK KILL THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

"No you misunderstand we must save Black Widow!" cries Bianca very wisy.

"Ah, you seem to believe I give a fucking darn about that russian skank!" said Tony cruelly, "I set up her death! HAW HAW HAAW!"

Oliver and Company could not believe it! Yes, Tony Stark, one of America's greatest heroes, had conspired against the Avengers and contracted Loki to kill Romanova!

"Stark…. you will not get away with this…." said Steve Rogers weakly, his voiced muffled by Hulk's anal muscles, before dying and being shat out of the green man's body.

"But my dear Captain America, I already have! Now Jarvis, commence operation K19T!"

"Yes my feeble master!" said pervertly the evil robot Jarvis.

Just then, a series of doors opened and thousands of arachnid robots with dildoes strapped on them came in! They had inside jars filled with children's body parts, including Jenny's head, Penny's legs and Cody's genitalia!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Oliver with much sadness in his testicles, he was overwhelmed by grief of his human owner's flesh-covered dead cranium being inside a devil kami machine, while Bianca and Bernard mourned the death of the two children they worked so hard to save.

"Yes, grieve much my deciduous little pussy!" cackled Tony Stark devilly fully, as Jarvis tried to fix his spine by inserting a massive tube in his rectum and raising his body up like an ice cream being supported by wood.

Hulk was very mad at the little asnimals for his dolor and dead lover, but he felt sorry of them, so he decided to destroy the evil robots.

"HULK SMASH, ANIMALS SAVE NATALIA! STEVEN SHIELD IS IN BALCONY, BRING TO HULK SO YOU CAN UTILISE IT LIKE MEGA FRISBY AND FLY TO THE ASGARD TO GET THOR!"

"NOOOO!" roars Stark madly, he much dislikes utilisation of unorthodox flight styles, "YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR BETRAYAL BRUCE BANNER! MY PEDOBOTS, DESTRUCT THEM ALL!"

The robots then grew barbs on their dildos, but they were kept at bay thanks to Hulk's ginormous cock slapping them away. Dodger run as fast as he could to retrieve the Captain America shield, but it was too heavy for his mandibula to carry. But then he saw Oliver's beautiful eyes under the pale lit light of the pedobots, and he was inspired with much love and righteoussness for the heart of the person you care about most, so he single handedly carried the shield back to Hulk, worthy as he was of the true power of AMERICA!

"You did it!" Oliver nuzzled against his lover's thick pelt.

"I could not have done it without you, mon cherry."

And so the too kissed with much passion and duty, the light of pure love causing a mass malfunction in the pedobots and shutting off Jarvis for good, making Tony Stark fall on the pile of diarrhea turd he had ejaculated.

"Curses! DI69AYKPE!" cried Iron Man shittifully.

Just then the entire building began converting into nanomachines and going into the evil industrial man! Hulk grabbed the animals and the shield and they all run in to the top of the tower. Hulk then strapped Dodger, Bernard, Bianca and Oliver to the shield with tape wire and threw the shield to the sky, just as the tower crumbled and he was consumed by nanomachines!

"We will avenge you Hulk!" said Bianca as she barfed violently her own stomachal lining.

The shield went round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round until it hit the S.H.I.E.L.D. airship window glasses. Glass flies everywhere, most of it stabbing Maria Hill's face, disrotting her teeth and gums, ripping off her cheeks, exploding her eyes, cutting her putrid decaying snot filled nostrils, and entering her brain cavity and anihilating the neocortex, making her crouch violently on the ground and most spectacularly defecate her inwards thousands of feet into the air. Her coworkers that weren't wounded or killed by the breaking glass enjoyed a shower of rotten burrito diarrhea shit that was filled with lead, so their flesh melted into bloody jelly filled with bubbles, exposing their pure white skeletons. Most of the computers were severaly damaged by the most putrid mexican dung, exploding en masse and setting the airship on fire, frying most of the survivors.

"What HELLCK is going on IN HERE!?" asked Nick Fury very madly, he was angry because this tomfoolery interrupted him from anihilating white ass with his dinomongous cock.

"Sire your agent the Black Widow is in grave mortality danger!" cries Oliver with glass shards on his anal glands, "Loki and Living Laser are attempting most devil schematics of areopagic madness!"

But then Nick Fury broke into laughter!

"No, don't!" said Bianca, lacting rotten goat milk from her dung filled titties.

"You explode the FUCK out of MY ship so I can save that stupid hoe skank!? I don't give a fucking DARN about Black Widow you miserable little Exafroplacentalia shits! Now you will all suffer my wrath for provoking me! HAW HAW HAW!"

And then Nick Fury lubed his gigantic black cock with Maria's turd petrol…. he was going to rape them! To make matters more the bad, they were still tied to the shield, so they could not run away like demolished cranes upon Adlivun of pissing madness. Oliver, you must think of a away out of this one!

"Oliver my love, use your telekinesis to contact Thor!" says Dodger very wisy.

And Oliver does! His mind goes very deep into the space, into the black void of broken dreams and lost sleds of carcinoma woes of cinematic idiocy. He goes all the way to Asgard, where Heimdall intercepts him.

"Halt at once! What is your business you devilful most vermillion pussy?" says the wise deliciously hotness chocolatl skin watcher Heimdall, eating a watermelon filled with fried chicken, whilst playing a banjo with his huge penile.

"Heimdall I must contact Thor in order to save the world from Loki menace and my arse from Nick Fury hateful phallic appendage of purphury madness head!"

"Mmm, I shall see what I can do, in exchange for a price….YOUR ASSS!"

Oliver is very frightened and sad, he cannot cheat with his life partner of much amorous love feelings of passione, but if he does not Dodger's ass will be exterminated by Nick Fury's super serpent penis.

"Fine, but I will not prevent veneral diseases infections!"

"Do not worry, I already have AIDS."

And with that the Heimdall turned off the mental communication.

"How did it go?" Bernard unmanlinessly because he had a glass shard on his testicles.

"Heimdall said he would bring Thor, but in return I have to sex him!"

"GRRR, don't worry my love, I will kill that son of a bitch tapeworm eyed cunt and take out his fucking skin!" said Dodger with penis eating intentions.

Just then, Nick Fury got really close!

To be continued…


	2. The Black Parade

"HAW HAW HAW I M GOING TO RAPE YOU ALL!" said Nick Fury deviously and dementedly, his penis was very bad and evil like a wet mushroom of depression condolences. 


End file.
